I work hard, I study hard, what GIVES?

I'm a working student.  That means I have a j o b.  Because of a big project at work, I was more than likely going to not be at my Physics lab on Friday night.  I talked to my professor and he graciously allowed me to come to his Thursday night lab instead.  Thursday afternoon right before my lab I get a call with a needed, urgent change to the project.  I pull out my laptop (which my awesome boyfriend brought me) and tried to connect the the University Wi-Fi.  I get an error message when I login saying "You cannot connect to the network because you have too many devices registered on the network".  DO WHA?! I can't unregister a device, and even if I knew how many is the limit, I have no idea if I still even HAVE all of the devices in my possession, much less use them on campus.  

Here I was making an effort to make work and school be zen together, and what do I get?  A fight.  Every time I turn around.  How frustrating.  *sigh*

Until next time,
:)

School ruins my ability to concentrate

I have no issue working 8 hour work days if I'm used to working 8 hour days.  But when you have classes that are an hour long with hour or two breaks smudged in between, it's easier and easier to operate on an hour-long attention span.  A couple hours at most.  This kills me when I go to work 8 hour days.  

Couldn't we just have class 8 hours a day and be done in a week?  That would be AWESOME.  

I'm going to go do something else.  I've been working on this blog post for 5 minutes.  :P

Until next time,
:)

What if......??

I've been thinking a lot about this lately: what if we created a university centered around the students and their education?

Maybe I'm a little bitter, maybe I'm ranting, maybe I don't know what the heck I'm talking about. I go to a large state school. There are more than 26,000 students and most (like 75%) commute as opposed to living on campus. Some commute 5 minutes, some commute an hour one way. We then ask them to add between 15 and 30 minutes to each end of their commute to get from their cars to class. I've had to park as much as 1 MILE from class. 

We have a ton of construction on campus. I can't go anywhere to avoid it. Campus is about to spend almost $13 million to tear up a road and cause a traffic nightmare to a) add sidewalks and b) add grassy medians and other road beautification. I can't make this stuff up. 

What if:
# We had more parking spaces than students, all within a 5 minute walk from any different building. And make the faculty park further away. 
# instead of spending tens of *millions* of dollars on grassy medians, we put it into scholarships to help reduce student loans. 
# students could choose to pay the fees that fund what I call silly "student programming" that's really only good for students who either live on campus, or don't have a job.
# lowered the cost of food on campus. This is a place of education, not a gas station. 
# we had professors who were invested in our education, not just ones earning a paycheck at a place where they can get tenure and publish papers. This includes more than 1 office hour a week. 
# we eliminate most general education classes. Let's be honest, it's a repeat of high school and an excuse for a university to get more money. 

But what do I know? Maybe this won't earn enough money to keep the school running. 

::sigh:: I'll just get my piece of paper and then go take Coursera classes. For free. It's amazing the resources that are out there for free or low cost for people who really want to learn something. 

Until next time,
:)

That moment when you realize you got it right

First, this post is being written on my iPad, so while I'll spell check as always, please have mercy. :)

Last semester I failed a class.  A computer science class that's required in my major (um, Computer Science). I'm kind of a "special" computer science major. I'm really not a very good programmer, I'm a database person (which is where most people change their puzzled looks to ahhh, gotcha). The class I failed will be one of 2 highest level and most difficult programming classes and I just didn't work hard enough to pass. I think I posted about it, maybe not. I have to take the second next fall, and that's the semester I'm supposed to graduate. (YIKES) But I digress. 

I'm taking the class again this semester. We have 5 grades that each make up 20% of our final grade, no pressure. 3 projects and 2 tests. 

We finished out first project last week. I worked for hours and hours and hours.  I went from hopeful to defeated to determined and back again. At one point I almost gave up. Then I got it. I made a change, sighed and hung my head, and ran the program one more time. And it worked. IT WORKED.  I almost cried I was so excited. I turned it in and breathed a huge sigh of relief and hope. Maybe I will make it out alive. 

I then turned to jittery anticipation waiting for my project to be graded. Two days later I received the fateful e-mail with my grade: 19/20. That's an A!!!!  A 95 at that!!

Finally all my hard work actually paid off. Hot diggity. 

Until next time,
:)

A little catch up, a repeat, and the discouragement that set off the lazy bomb

So about the long title.  The last time I posted was last Spring semester.  The fall brought uninteresting classes.  I don't even think I remember what they were.  The spring brought some interesting stuff.  I started out with 16 hours but dropped it to allow for more time to study.  HA! I'll tell you what happened with that.  Nothing.  "Oh I have 6 hours 3 days a week until the project is due.  I have time for Hulu."  Sigh.  One class was out of my grasp and I didn't work hard enough, so I failed it.  It's a class in my major.  Double sigh.  I'm repeating that class this semester.  Yay. Maybe. 

This summer I did an awesome internship.  And the internship was extended through April.  Awesome.  

I have three more semesters, not including summers, and including this semester.  I should graduate December 2014.   *groan*

So I have 16 credit hours of classes this semester.  I sit in a classroom for 18.  I work about 20 hours, and I've been diligently at the library with every spare moment doing homework that wasn't required, reading the textbooks (do wha?!?!), and studying like crazy.  I get a C on my first assignment in one class (mind you this is a class on a topic I've been doing in the work world for YEARS), a B on a test, failed a project.  After working my tail off until 1 am and going to work at 4 am and sticking that together with 18 hour days, I can assure you the attitude I have currently is that I don't care.  I don't want to study.  Why bother?  I did all the homework, reading, extra practice, and two practice tests for Physics in preparation for the test.  I'm exceedingly good in Physics.  I got an A on BOTH practice tests and most of the practice problems I solved correctly.  I made an 84 on the test.  Talk about a demotivational poster.  Yes, work your butt off.  No one will know anyways.  So now all I want to do is sit at home and play games.  Or sleep.  Because I'm tired.  I don't want to do assignments until I absolutely have to.  

I will say the best moment in the last couple weeks was when I got a program to work in the class I failed last semester (That I'm retaking this semester).  I couldn't breathe I was so excited.  I turned in the project in time for its due date today, and I'm nervous about what I did wrong that will end up failing me, even though I put in hours and hours and hours of work on that project, and talked it over and over and over with my ever-patient boyfriend.  

Hopefully things will turn around before I manage to put myself into a hole.  I can't afford to fail more classes, but right now I don't care.  I'm so done with this broken education system.  Because of the work experience I have, the diploma is a *formality*.  Ugh.  I'm not happy about devoting my life for the next year and a half for a formality.  Gross.  

I'm hopeful about my upcoming projects.  And I have another Physics test next week.  I can do this!

Until next time,
:)

What is the DEAL lately?!?!

Here's my conundrum.  In the last week, I have had an assignment in both my Assembly Language and in my second level Computer Science class.  Both have had an aspect of them I COULD NOT figure out, and as a result, the assignments were "incomplete". By this, I mean that I finished the code, and the math was 100% dead on, but on one, I couldn't get the output in one box, it was outputting in 4, and in the other, C++ pointers are making me crazy.  This whole abstract side of programming?  I totally don't get it.  I DO NOT like not understanding.  It makes me feel very stupid, and right now, I'm frustrated, I feel stupid, and worthless because I couldn't get it together in an appropriate time frame so I could have time to ask my Professors questions about what I got stuck on. 


The most frustrating part: because I feel stupid, I totally am not enjoying this right now, and I want to hide from Computer Programming, but in my experience, it's the time I push through the feeling of wanting to give up that really pays off. 


I guess Spring Break (this coming week) was well timed.  I don't intend to look at a Computer Program the whole week.  How depressing am I?  


This was not an issue last semester.  Last semester, I had assignments done 30 minutes after they were assigned.  I did not procrastinate last semester, but this semester, time after time, that's all I've done, and it's very discouraging.  I'm not sure what happened to put me in such a rut, but it's got to stop!  I do have an additional class this semester, that can be a downer sometimes, but I cannot lean on the workload excuse, next semester, my work load is going to be half again as much!  I'm not going to have time for excuses...or much else, really.  With this challenge, I'm starting to seriously doubt my ability to graduate on time (December 2013).  Oh, I'm going to give it all I have, but what if that's not enough?  What if I physically don't have it in me? I could worry and what if all night, but I'm going to go to sleep, since that's something productive.  


Oh, and the drive?  That at first I didn't mind, even enjoyed?  Well now, I totally hate it.  


Ugh.  Apartment here I come, no other option.  I'm not wasting that much time in my car anymore.  I have so many better things I can be doing...like my homework on time.  *eye roll*

I can (mostly) deal with stupidity, but people wasting my time? Not so much.

So I was sitting in my Sociology class Thursday (Sociology is my minor) and the professor is going over the format and guidelines for the midterm exam.  In this discussion, and on the review page he had loaded on the projector, said, you need to buy a form thus and such scantron.  A few minutes later, a girl behind me asked, do we need a scantron?


REALLY?!?!  This was my last straw.  I'm a BIG believer in personal responsibility, and we're in University to LEARN, not play around.  I've also dealt with way too many people who miss class and expect the professor to go back over material he already did.  I had enough.  I turned around and told her the professor just went over that and it was on the review.  She said she wasn't listening.  At this point I was in shock.  That's totally fine with me if you don't want to listen, it's your tuition money, but do NOT waste my time because you don't feel like bothering.  Skip class, no one cares.  


She then proceeds to make fun of me in a not so concealing "whisper" for the next few minutes.  It was all I could do not to turn around and tell her to shut up.  


Sent me straight back to middle and high school, where this kind of thing happened regularly.  I was not well liked during that time.  At all.  


I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself, but a little backup from my professor would have been nice too...Can't wait for class on Tuesday.  


The good news from this wreck of a class period?  My political activist annoying nemesis of a classmate decided to be absent from class.  It's the little things :)


Study hard!
:)